And just emptiness.

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And just emptiness.

October 29, 2009

Well.. what can I say..

This should be written yesterday but i figured out reacting to this problem when I’m at the height of that emotion is not right. So, here I am in this note trying to figure out how to say it in a way that i won’t be mentioning anything of whoever or of whatsoever.

My life doesn’t just revolve in material things that would make me proud in owning those. They say that I am mere mortal lurking in this planet. That i’m not perfect nor close to perfection. That Ii have never in my life got contented of what i have. That more is what i always crave for. That more money, more friends, more gadgets, more books and more awesome stuffs to splurge to. And that’s a LIE.

I am nothing but a girl being incapable of achieving great power. i am nothing more but a teenager hungry for fun, affection and love. i am nothing but a student struggling to pass college and most of all, i am nothing but a daughter who deceives my parents to get what i want because they restrain me from doing so.

In this week, Ive become too emotional that tempt me to become a lesser human being. whatever i do, it’s always there, rubbing it in on my face. human as i am, it has always been a struggle for me to flee away from these temptations. i give in and accepted the consequences life has given me.

I have no one to turn to. i face my problems alone. yes, i do have friends and yes, i tell them my problems but never did i ask for their help to solve it. lonesome? no. independent? yes. fucked up? probably. strong? i’m going there.

Laughing, believing them that I am always happy are needed to disguise the emptiness within. YES. The Manith that they have known for so long.

To fake it is to stand guard over emptiness.

And just emptiness.

shit is all i can say.

ishmaylz but not ishmaylz…<— enough said.

Posted by kohfee at 9:41 am | permalink

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- SiLy mE -

-old Mr. Webster can never define me.
-don't try to tell me who I am because I already know
-memories mean everything.
-there’s no place like elsewhere.
-without him, life would be a lot easier. But it will also be a lot emptier.
-love will always stain, just like blood.
-COMPUTER plays a big part in my life.
-laughter isn’t always the best medicine. It can kill. :))
-I don’t have to tell you that I’m sad. But be sure to notice it. Because the more you show your feelings, the more people can find ways to hurt you.
-I trust someone by a hair's breadth.
-he’s my fairytale, a dream when I’m not sleeping; a wish upon a star that came true.
-there’s always a happy ending in a real life fairytale. You juz hav 2w8.
-an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit. HAHA!
-everyone experiences a dramatic scene in their life.
-hiding my emotion is where I’m not good at. You cant easily recognize when I’m not ok. (That’s for people who dont really know me.)
-the scariest thing is being alone.
-adventure is what I’m searching for.
-I dream big :)
-in the end, you’ll be happy. And if you’re not happy, then it’s not the end.
-daydreaming is what I love. HAHA!
-I am listed under CRAZY.
-colored photographs show the color of your clothes. Black & white photographs show the color of your soul.
-DRINKING IS DANGEROUS FOR YOUR HEALTH :)) So quit drinking?
-Nytout is so much fun.
-you will find me editing pictures the whole day.
-I was a ‘natural stubborn’ :)).Why I couldn’t help it??
-MUSIC is my drug.
-TIME is gold. So I’m always on time. HAHAHA! (For sure maraming aangal jan!)
-COKE!COKE!COKE Wala lang! Gusto ko ng COKE eh.
-be a modern EMO?. Don’t juz wait, u have to search also. Tama ba? HAHAHA!
-star light, star bright, I found MR.RIGHT. I stay up and think of him every night. And I love when he holds me tight.
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-FLASH A SMILE!