A fresh start.

June 3, 2009

 

 

 

It was a beautiful day as I looked outside my window. I stared down at my things scattered all over the place. There was a weird silence.
Then shortly a familiar tone was heard. My heart was pounding so hard not knowing why. I walked up closely to hear the words. I felt a sudden shiver.
Then I was struck on what I have heard.

*Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny*

Memories of the past came running back.

After how many months I thought it was long gone…forgotten…never to appear again… I chose to close that chapter in my life… only to find out I was wrong… so wrong. It’s been a long time since that very day but I can still remember the pain, the anger and the suffering. I remember clearly how hard it was to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart…

I tried to be strong… I made myself believed that I had moved on… Then abruptly…unexpectedly…it came without a warning… it sneaked on me. I wasn’t ready for it. Everything that I have tried to hide and erased in my mind and in my heart came rushing back to me like a big gust of wind… I nearly lost my balance…unable to control it… I stumbled and I lie there waiting… I was scared and cold…

Suddenly…I felt a slight prick…it was as if I got stung…the pain was growing by the minute…my whole body was aching really hard.unable to breath.it feels like my heart is going to burst and my vision was becoming blurry.my legs were wet now.i looked up in the sky there was no sign of rain though it was a little bit darker than before.only to realize that the water was coming down from my eyes.why?????

Then it hit me. All those time of running…it finally caught up to me.even though it was right infront of my face i still tried to deny it.pretented it wasn’t there.but i can no longer run.and no matter how i tried to forsake it or refuse to believe it.i can’t do it anymore.i have no one and nothing to turn to.i feel so alone.alone in a little world I built for me to be able to cope.so isolated.so lonely. I hate this feeling…it hurts so much.and the worse part.i got myself to blame for everything.

I got up…a lil shaky but feeling a lil bit stronger now.i looked in the mirror.i stared deeply in my eyes.feelin uneasy as if it was the first time…i saw myself for who I was and i saw exactly what was wrong.all this time i have been afraid to confront my own feelings.i spent my time pointing my fingers on others because that made me feel a little bit better about myself…. i broke down.crying harder than before.i am so mad at myself.i can no longer stand the pain.then it happened.

Everything that I have kept in my heart…all the pains, all the regrets, all the anguish, all the suffering and all the agony was out. it burst out like striking a balloon with a needle… it was as if a big torn was lifted off of me… all I had to do was look inside of myself and see exactly me as me… not expecting some hero that could take on anything… right there I realized I’m not that strong… I’m no wonder woman… I’m also human like anybody else… Capable of making mistakes and capable of learning from them…capable of forgiving and forgetting. I realized can’t close one chapter of my life and pretend it never happened… I can never go back and there’s no chance of re-rewriting those pages but in closing a chapter I could open a new one… A fresh start… But that will only happen if I have moved on and truly let go not only of all the hurt and anger that others had inflicted upon me but what I had brought to myself as well…only then will myself be free.

My broken heart will never be the same. Nevertheless I will pick up all those pieces and hopefully shape it as it once was.

I looked at my window again and saw a rainbow. A little smile formed in my lips as the song ended.

*So say goodbye but don’t you cry cause true love never dies*

LOL:))

Ito po ang pinakaaabangan ng lahat ang…

Super Twinshehe jwk
Ito po ang 3rd Part ng Joke lang po

Basa na!!!!

Filipino Names converted to American Names
Dimitria Dagdag = Demi Moore

Rogelio Dagdag = Roger Moore

Emilio Salamat = Amillion Thanks

Leon Mangubat = Tiger Woods

Francisco Portero = Frank Porter

Bienvenido Jurado = Ben Hur

Juan Tampipi = John Samsonite

Victoria Malihim = Victoria Secret

Restituto Fruto = Tutti Frutti

Casimiro Bocaycay = Cashmere Bouquet

Veneracio de Asis = Venereal Disease

Alfonso de Asis = Alzheimer’s Disease

Topacio Mamaril = Top Gun

Eliutario Ignacio = Electronic Ignition

Juanito Lakarin = Johnny Walker

Esteban Pagtakahan = Stevie Wonder

Burgos Reyes = Burger King

Ligaya Almundo = Joy Totheworld

Maria Navidad = Mary Christmas

Ligaya Anonuevo = Happy New Year

Federico Hagibis = Federal Express

name of chinese people born in the philippines
names of chinese people born in the philippines
1.born during the night- ANDY LIM
2.born blind- KENNETH SY
3.born being swindled- LINO CO
4.born while cooking- NILO TOH
5.born as the 10th child- SAM PO
6.born while being courted- LILY GAW
7.born fat- BOB UY
8.born without leg- KENT GO
9.born little- KATHY TING
10.born with a vast estate- LOT TE
11.born different- EVA YAN
12.born uniqe- ALIEN SIA
13.born while counterfeiting- FAYE KING
14.born on sunday- LING GO
15.born with picture- LARA WAN
16.born with sweet- KEN DY
17.born undefined- SAM TING
18.born while taking a bath- LILY GO
19.born while buying- BILL LI
20.born secretly- TINA GO

Pinoy Diksyunaryo
dedicated - pinatay ang pusa

deduct - ang pato

defeat - ang paa

defense - ang bakod

defer - ang balahibo

deflate - ang plato

defrag - ang palaka

delusion - e di maluwag

depends - (see defense)

deposit - ang gripo

depress - nagkasal sa persuading (see persuading)

detail - ang buntot

detest - ang eksamen

devalue - ‘yon ang susunod sa letrang v

devastation - dun sasakay ng bus

devote - ang boto

dilemna - Gabi na

effort - dun nagla-land yung efflane

forums - apat na kuwarto

it depends - kainin mo ang bakod

july - nagsinungaling ka ba?

melt - ‘yun ang sinusuot sa mewang?

statue - ikaw ba ‘yan?

protestant - tindahan ng prutas

predicate - pakawalan mo ang pusa

thesis - sakit

Pinoy Diksyonaryo( iba naman to )

Abuloy — bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.
Akala —- alam na alam daw.
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang.
Ama —— pamilyadong gustong maging binata
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga.
Bakit —- tanong na laging mahirap masagot.
Bakya —- tsinelas na may takong.
Baga —– lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave.
Bagoong — masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam.
Baldado — hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay.
Bale —– suweldong inutang.
Binata —— lalaking gustong maging ama
Biyenan —— anay ng tahanan
Kaaway — ikli ng ‘kaibigan na Inayawan.’
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren.
Kabag —- dighay at utot na naghalo sa tiyan.
Kabayo — hayop na sinasakyan Ng kalesa.
Kabit —— asawang nakatira sa iba
Kalbo —- gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog.
Dalaga ——— babaeng gustong maging ina.
Dalaginding - dalagang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra.
Dighay ——- Utot na lumabas sa bunganga.
Dilim —- liwanag na maitim.
E ——– ireng paseksi.
Gahasa — romansang walang ligawan.
Ginang — asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay.
Ginoo —- asawa ni ginang na may inaasawang iba.
Gipit —- kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
Ha ——- sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan.
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala.
Handaan — magdamagan na Palakihan ng tiyan.
Handog — bigay na laging may kapalit.
Hipo —– haplos na may malisya.
Hudas —- tapat na manloloko.
Ibon —– hayop na lumalangoy sa Hangin.
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano.
Ina ——– pamilyadang gustong maging dalaga.
Insulto — walang hiyang biro.
Isda —— hayop na hindi Nalulunod.
Itlog ——- pagkaing amoy utot
Ita ——- negrong Pinoy.
La ——– ikli ng ‘lalalalala’ sa kinakantang hindi maalala.
Lalawigan - syudad ng kahirapan.
Langaw —- kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura.
Ma ——– tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na.
Malusog — hitsura ng tumatabang balat.
Mama —— tawag sa sosyal na ina.
Mano —— kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo…. at bulsa.
Mantika — katas ng piniritong taba.
Mayabang ——– abusadong tanga.
Maybahay — dominanteng utusan sa bahay.
Nanay —- Ilaw ng tahanan
Nakaw —– hiram ng walang paalam
Naku —— ikli ng ‘nanay ko, nanay na ako.’
Nitso —– bahay ng mga patay.
Nobya —– gelpren na laking probinsya.
Ngalngal — iyak ng walang ipen.
Ngisi —– tawang tulo-laway.
Ngiti —– tawang labas ipen.
Paa ——- bahagi ng katawan na amoy tuta.
Paaralan — dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo.
Panata —- dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod.
Regla —– masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
Sabon —– mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan.
Sakristan - utusan ng pari.
Sampal —- haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha.
Ta ——– ikli ng ‘tita’ o lalaking may bra.
Tamad —– taong hindi napapagod sa pahinga.
Tatay —– haligi ng tahanan
Utot——– Dighay na lumabas sa puwit
Ulol ——– sobrang matalino
Wala ——- salitang tagalog na minana ng mga ingles.
Yaya ——– alaga ng ama ng inaalagaang bata.

 

*ismaylz*

Untolerable Lightness of Being Cute.

 

Some people would say I’m egotistic. I’m not. I just happen to be cute. I’m not pretty (see the humility in that line?), just cute. What’s the difference? Pretty accounts for something striking, cute pertains to something pleasant. And that’s just what I am.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect. But I strongly believe I am cute. I am. Don’t laugh. Really, I am. Fine, I’ll prove it.

Too many people just say that I AM cute. I’m not drop dead gorgeous, nor am I the anorexic-supermodel type. But seriously, I actually get sick of being called cute. I don’t take compliments that well, and honestly, it annoys the hell out of me. It’s like, I have this please-peel-your-lips-off-my-ass kind of attitude. But hey if they all say it, it must be true, right?

Stalkers. I’m flattered, but I have too many things to do besides pay attention to them. Ok fine, I’m irresistible, can we just move on? The weirdest ones are probably those who tell me straight-out that I’m sexy. Wutdahel? Egad. Please. Stop before I vomit.

Because beauty is not skin deep. Inner beauty. I’m probably one of the nicest people around. One of those freakingly law-abiding (read: no jaywalking), recycling advocate and honest fiends of society. Somebody even had the gall to ask me if I ever get angry. I do, but why get waste energy in getting mad. Somebody else will get them in the end anyway. Besides, I don’t want to get wrinkles too soon. Why stress yourself out?

I AM huggable, pinchable and lovable. A complete package. Just like your personal teddy bear. Plus, who could resist my cheeks? Nobody! *evil laugh*

Ok, maybe you’ve had enough of this weird profession of my narcism. And you’re probably wondering, ok, now we know that you’re cute, so what? Well..

I wasn’t always like this. After a bout of depression, I realized some things. Everything in life boils down to attitude. Yes, to be bold enough to accept one’s weaknesses and work with your strengths. Carpe diem. To be optimistic. All those cheesy humanitarian movies were right. Of course, I’m not satisfied with being cute. Other goals are to be brilliant, enigmatic, and the list simply goes on. I have made steps towards those goals (ah the optimism!). And then there’s the goal to find my equally cute significant other. Now, that will take a lot of work. For now, I’ll just take it one step at a time.

Attitude is everything, my friends. Everything.

You.

 

 

 

 

You. The very mention of your name make girls swoon over… so when you told me you loved me, it was as if time was at a stand still… as if all the alcohol I have drunk was racing to my head and conspiring to make it explode.

 

 

You. Synonymous to player, babaero, manloloko. So when you told me you loved me it was as if the world made the biggest joke… and I was unfortunate enough to be the butt of it.

 

 

Drink alcohol.

 

 

You. Pursued me and with every attempt I made to evade your charms I was getting sucked by an all consuming black hole. And as was inevitable I gave in.

 

 

Drink alcohol.

 

 

You. The perfect trophy. Shining with all your glory. Handsome and rich… and that was your only purpose to me, a trophy. But as moments pass that I spent in your arms, I knew that I couldn’t fool anyone. Not even myself.

 

 

Drink alcohol.

 

 

You. Say the words I want to hear… your expression of your love move me to tears. Why has life decided to be so cruel to me? Why can’t I suppress this feeling that I have for you that has grown so completely awry?

 

 

Drink alcohol.

 

 

You. Are my self-torture device. That I myself have chosen to turn on… and you made the first step turning it off… as I was crying myself to sleep one night for the pain was to unbearable, you were there and without a single word you held me cradled me in your arms telling me that you would never leave me and you’d be sure to fight anything that would hurt me… chase away all my fears as your eyes were drenched as well in tears… at that moment the pain was gone… even the stupid hangover that I’ve grown not to mind. “Never leave me” you said, “chase away all my fears” you said. But didn’t you know that act had already chased my fears away. Because that was all I wanted… for you not to leave. The tears rolling down your cheeks were all the sincerity I could ever ask for…

 

 

You. Make me believe in chances. As I woke up with your eyes intently watching me, as you gently kissed my forehead I thought to myself maybe, just maybe you really do love me… with that one thought I smiled. He smiled as well, saying “I think I’m in love with an insane woman! One minute she’s crying, smiling the next.” And then he giggled, my God! How adorable the sound he made! Then seriousness in his face returned “why were you crying?” silence. “Fine! If you won’t tell me why you were crying at least tell me why you were smiling.” Silence. “Maybe” he said “you shouldn’t drink anymore.” And I said “I’d give up anything for you.” He smiled then kissed me… but in my heart it answered: “You. You were the reason for everything. The torture. And thankfully, finally the delight.”

 

 

I know what I am facing is not an actual guaranteed happiness. But I also know this feeling is much better!

 

*smiles*

notes.notes.notes

This one is actually quite funny:))

 

 

Progress notes ng isang malanding nurse:
- receive patient conscious, coherent and handsome with great smile, nice eyes at super hotness lever
- GSH (great sense of humor) assessed
- THB (totally hot body) inspected
- friendster checked and recorded
- (+) sign of intelligence and wealth
- (-) sign of boastfulness
- conversation rendered
- encouraged flirting
- needs very much attended
- due cellphone number given
- TLC (tender lovin care) rendered
- endorsed to best friend

 

 

*ismaylz*